chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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