What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
