Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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