btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
