Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
