Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
