i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
