Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
