My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
