Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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