That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
