You work out of a Hotel?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
