I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
