in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
