I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
