Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
