I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
