508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
