Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
