$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
