Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
