Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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