put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
