I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
