elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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