I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
