You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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