nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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