Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
