i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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