If i come over, it means nothing
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
