You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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