how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
