Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
