Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
