I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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