Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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