She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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