whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
