therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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