Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
