I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
