She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
then he tried to convert me to islam
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
