so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
