in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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