You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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