playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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