I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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