the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
