You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
