I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
