k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
