I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Randomize
