You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
