so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
